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| Tuesday, July 11th, 2006 | | 12:43 am |
thank god
| You Are 0% Redneck | 
I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style.
You ain't no redneck - you're all Yankee! |
| | 12:10 am |
in the US i rediscovered retarded quizzes
| You Are a Seeker Soul | 
You are on a quest for knowledge and life challenges.
You love to be curious and ask a ton of questions.
Since you know so much, you make for an interesting conversationalist.
Mentally alert, you can outwit almost anyone (and have fun doing it!).
Very introspective, you can be silently critical of others.
And your quiet nature makes it difficult for people to get to know you.
You see yourself as a philosopher, and you take everything philosophically.
Your main talent is expressing and communicating ideas.
Souls you are most compatible with: Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul |
| | 12:00 am |
fuck yeah
| You Are 22% American | 
You're as American as Key Lime Tofu Pie
Otherwise known as un-American!
You belong in Cairo or Paris...
Get out fast - before you end up in Gitmo! |
| | Monday, July 10th, 2006 | | 11:50 pm |
| You Are 4: The Individualist |
You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.
You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.
You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.
Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel. |
| | Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 | | 9:28 pm |
beauty in the breakdown
Valentin: je t'aime tellement que je me trouve débile mais c'est plus fort que moi tu me manques mon petit bourgeois c a toi ce soir et tous les soirs je sais pas si un jour j'arriverai d'etre une chercheuse comme toi. ca me donne peur parfois, le fait que tu es mieux que moi. je suis si fiere de toi, mais j'ai peur que tu vas trouver quelqu'un comme toi. au moins je peux etre belle, pourquoi je fais du sport chaque jour. mais je sais qu'il y a plus que ca. | | Monday, April 3rd, 2006 | | 5:47 pm |
oh france...
funny how i agree with french "conservatives"... A Strange Kind of Revolution Forget the spirit of 1789 — France has lost the ability to adapt to a changing world BY JACQUES MARSEILLE It's all going to blow up." this prophecy, which often comes up in French conversations, suggests that we understand our own history. Indeed, in France — where the word consensus is not exactly common usage, and the word reformist is considered an insult — confrontation always seems inevitable. Whether the First Employment Contract (cpe), the measure intended to encourage job creation by allowing employers to more easily dismiss the young staffers they take on, is good or bad is beside the point. It took an unusual degree of blindness for Prime Minister Dominique de Villepin to think that the French, who said non to the European constitution, would approve of this "reform." After all, it has revealed to young people the extent to which they have been victims of their elders, who have hoarded generous social benefits for the last 20 years. Financing those benefits has created a debt whose annual interest approaches France's total annual income-tax revenues. Against this backdrop, Villepin has managed to drive onto the streets not just youth who are locked out of the labor market, but also civil-servant trade unions, which habitually block reform on the pretext of resistance against what they sloppily label "ultraliberalism." Such unholy alliances have characterized France's numerous civil wars. In 1358, the jacqueries (peasant uprisings), which gave birth to the modern state, united peasants against the nobility. The nobility, in turn, revolted to protect their privileges against the growing power of the state and the Parisian bourgeoisie, who wanted to create an English-style monarchy controlled by a representative assembly. Similarly, in 1648, the stone-throwing agitators who set off the civil war known as the Fronde ended up giving birth to the centralized state of Louis XIV by rallying another strange coalition: civil servants, already then jealously guarding their privileges; local nobility who, like today's regional presidents, were set on defending their fiefdoms against centralization; and the middle classes, crushed by the weight of onerous taxation. Historians and sociologists have long claimed that May '68 vaccinated the Fifth Republic against instability and upheaval. But look at recent years. First, the far right has a strong showing in the 2002 presidential elections, then France thumbs its nose at the European constitution in May 2005, then violent unrest rocks the banlieues last fall. And now we have the anti-cpe explosion. It all shows that France is reverting to its old habits. Today, as in the past, the naysayers are hardly a homogeneous group. They include blue- and white-collar workers threatened by globalization, who increasingly abstain from voting or vote for the extreme right; small-business owners crushed by bureaucracy; the middle class, which overwhelmingly said yes to the euro but no to the constitutional treaty on Europe; and the country's youth, who will live less well than their parents, or so 60% of French people believe. It's an explosive situation. In the best scenario, it will lead to a rupture of a bankrupt social model. At worst we'll end up with a lame "appeasement" like the one that led France to humiliating defeat in 1940. Failing to rein in public spending for fear of displeasing those who use and abuse it would amount to precisely that today. In Strange Defeat, a superb essay written in the aftershock of France's capitulation in 1940, the historian Marc Bloch wrote: "Let us have the courage to admit what has just been vanquished in ourselves: it is our cherished small-town ways. The languid passage of the days, the slowness of the buses, the sleepy authorities, the shortsighted political bickering, the unambitious artisans, our taste for déjà vu and distrust of anything unexpected which could disturb our cozy habits. All that succumbed to the dynamic energy of Germany and its buzzing hives." Today, it is no longer a warlike Germany that buzzes but an industrious China, and soon India. As in previous ruptures, France today faces a major choice. It can refuse to fight in the global competition, indulge its cozy habit of the 35-hour week, defend its privileges tooth and nail, and watch its talented youth go abroad. Or it can shake up the well-protected to give more opportunity to the more vulnerable, slash public spending and reduce debt and modernize its social pact to allow French people — particularly its youth — to believe in the future. In short, France has to topple new Bastilles. The only problem is that these days there are a lot of people sheltering inside. Jacques Marseille is professor of economic history at Paris I Sorbonne University and the author of Du Bon Usage de la Guerre Civile en France, published by Perrin, 2006 | | Saturday, April 1st, 2006 | | 11:32 am |
happy hermitage
a few weeks ago i found someone absolutely beautiful. he wasn't perhaps, in the conventional sense... i think what we liked about each other was the other's flaws. i loved how his nose had a little bump, his lips were thinner than others, and he had freckles around his shoulders and upper back from old sunburns. his eyes were clear though and wide, and he reminded me of a sparrow although he is tall. he said my boobs were the perfect size, and he meant it. he never did tell me i was too skinny and when he touched me it was with tenderness and attention. we would watch desperate housewives together and roll around in the snow and it was beautiful. we didn't kiss the first times was saw each other, although we both liked each other, and i am not shy... i just couldn't. we were standing by the window looking out to the eiffel tower and the RER station when it did happen, snowing i remember like in boston, and when he touched my arm i felt butterflies in my stomach. i couldn't move and neither did he. finally our lips touched and the world, the snow, the RER all disappeared. he left though, a week and a half later, for an internship in germany. i don’t think i’ll ever see him again. i cried when he left, for a while... i don't know whether because i found him beautiful and i wasn't sure he knew, or because he took a part of me away with him too. because fate exists where some things aren't supposed to work out and i don't believe in that concept. | | Sunday, February 5th, 2006 | | 12:41 am |
*rofl* *lol* *vomit*
sHaft says: at this point i come to think its love sHaft says: u guys just need to get used to it... um i think it's more like intense dislike and potential hatred for the other | | Thursday, January 26th, 2006 | | 1:29 pm |
sick
i have some respiratory infection killing me. yes i am dying, meaning i'm too lazy to wake up early in the morning for my 8am class. i was searching for jobs next year and i realized i just want to stay in academia. i always told people i don't mind being a doctor bc i like going to school and i realize i don't want to leave school, probably ever. i found jobs at massachusetts general hospital that i am qualified or even more for, but i like being around college students. when i was reading the description, it just didn't seem right for me, but it was nearly the same thing. am i never wanting to grow up? or maybe my family is cursed to academia. maybe that explains why i like a hot 19 yr old now, never wanting to grow old. i don't know why i find that acceptable in france and not in the US. i would never date a 19 yr old in the US. seriously. youssef and i are completely over now. no more guilt with my 19 yr old, or the future ones to come. i'm seriously stagnating here. perhaps even rotting. yes for the first time in a long time, i am wasting space, not saying that for pity's sake, but really. i think i would accomplish more right now being some trophy wife. i think i would do a pretty good damn job at it too. | | Thursday, November 10th, 2005 | | 10:22 am |
i snap at my mom even though she's one of the people i care about most in the world and she doesn't deserve it why do we do that to the people we care about most in the world? | | Tuesday, October 25th, 2005 | | 7:12 am |
| | Sunday, October 23rd, 2005 | | 10:25 am |
it's okay
i'm starting to smoke again like before, which i gave up for youssef, in the beginning bc i was tired of his complaining and in the end because i loved him. i don't know if he realized that was a big thing for me. i shouldn't have any guilt about it - i used to smoke 4 or 5 times a day before with meg or alone, before class in the morning, sometimes after lunch, again before french class, then 1 or 2 at night when meg would im me. it gives me a calm that i forgot about. | | Saturday, October 22nd, 2005 | | 5:21 pm |
i'm loved!!!!
sonyaraab22: hey prettypandee: hey! prettypandee: how are u doing? sonyaraab22: good sonyaraab22: i have a baby sitter tonight and it is not you sonyaraab22: :-( sonyaraab22: :'( sonyaraab22: :-\ the little girl i babysat in wellesley misses me still :D) i miss babysitting yo | | 10:37 am |
in pictures
yesterday i broke up with youssef. it was hurting too much, him thinking kissing random girls in clubs is alright and he said things he wouldn't even know how to say 3 months ago. i read him my letter, explaining why i wasn't in paris that weekend, and at first he was angry, saying i don't understand why you are saying this again, bc we agreed to date, and then i asked him if he understood me, and he stopped and said yes. he was silent for a while, and then he said he didn't know what to say. after the silence he asked if we could still be friends and see each others and i said yes, but he would have to come here. then we had one of the nicest and longest conversations we had in a long time. he actually asked about my life, the little things he used to care about, and it was wonderful. meg sent me a link of her pictures and i found some from the gala at the end of may that i nevre saw. here they are:    i saw in youssef's eyes and face that he has changed. he looks much older now, in a period of 5 months, he looks like he aged 1.5 years. this was the youssef i loved, not the one who makes out with girls in clubs. he just looks like a nice guy. he smile seems more genuine and bigger. there's this joy he has that i forgot about that used to spread to everyone that lived in the french house. maybe he has grown up now and will never be like that again, but i'm so glad i got to know him like this, and i remembered how madly in love i was before. youssef asked why i didn't just come, bc we both had a lot of work, and i said because you know we would both start to kiss each other and cuddle, and he said yes. maybe i'm just stubborn, but even now i can still see in the depths of his eyes the youssef i used to know. i don't like the badass youssef. i loved the honorary french house member. with time i know i can get over this. i'm coming to terms that he has changed, and i'm becoming used to being alone. before youssef and i always had each other for support and wanting to know about each other's lives, but i'm reminded of the time now before i met him. i feel so oddly the same. | | Thursday, October 13th, 2005 | | 1:58 pm |
biting the apple
my body is tired. i started gym classes and went to 2 in a row and i don't think it was the best idea. my butt and thighs hurt a lot. i found out that i've been studying for the tests here the incorrect way, at least i think. no one seems to know information here. the people who run the metro and the buses are on strike. that means there is no public transportation. they want higher wages. they won't get fired for their strikes, yet they're putting thousands of people at a disadvantage for school or work. one girl for the past week has been staying at her friend's house bc she can't take the metro to school. what am i doing here? girls in my class go home almost every week if not every weekend and i choose to be thousands of miles away from home. i miss my family. i'm so tired. youssef is basically in another country - he works all of the time. i'm supposed to believe in love though, that there is love when work is taken away. when he had time, maybe everyone does have time really, i seem to want more too, he used to call and ask how i am. he doesn't have time to ask now. maybe that doesn't need to be asked everyday. some days i'm good, some days not. what am i doing seriously? youssef wrote me an email the other day saying that if i look ahead i'll find another paradise hidden. the paradises i'm used to were always beautiful and right in front of me. because i can't find it i feel lost. | | Wednesday, October 5th, 2005 | | 6:36 pm |
qu'est-ce que tu veux?
where are we going? am i going with you? i never have enough light in my apartement. i'm always cold too. i am always cold but in the summer. i am wanting more because i have less. we always want more. french people avaient un greve hier because they thought they didn't get paid enough. i want more time. i want more memory. i want the past. i need to find a hobby. i need to find a group of friends. i'm too lonely here, maybe too lost. sometimes i think that if i just go through a year of shit it will be okay later. but what if i don't pass this year? what am i going to do then? what should i do with my life? i think i might make a cute 2nd grade teacher in france in some small town of france, teaching english, letting the children dance and sing. i would find a nice french husband and we would have 3 little kiddies. that wouldn't be hard no? i wouldn't have to memorize 40 fatty acides and their derivatives. if i just had one friend i always saw, i think it would be okay. i'll see sara and nicolas this weekend. i think it's just when i study my mind travels and then i think too much. | | Sunday, September 25th, 2005 | | 10:54 am |
democrat- duh
You are a
Social Liberal
(63% permissive)
and an...
Economic Liberal
(25% permissive)
You are best described as a:
Democrat
Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid |
well i got almost exactly like hillary clinton. i guess that's another duh. so wellesley | | Saturday, September 24th, 2005 | | 10:25 am |
allez viens
Caravane Est-ce que j'en ai les larmes aux yeux Que nos mains ne tiennent plus ensemble Moi aussi je tremble un peu Est-ce que je ne vais plus attendre Est-ce qu'on va reprendre la route, Est-ce que nous sommes proches de la nuit Est-ce que ce monde a le vertige Est-ce qu'on sera un jour puni Est-ce que je rampe comme un enfant Est-ce que je n'ai plus de chemise C'est le Bon Dieu camarade C'est le Bon Dieu qui nous brise Est-ce que rien ne peut s'oublier Puisqu'il faut qu'il y ait une justice Je suis né dans cette caravane Et nous partons allez viens Allez viens Tu lu tu, tu lu tu... Et parce que ma peau est la seule que j'ai Que bientôt mes os seront dans le vent Je suis né dans cette caravane Et nous partons allez viens Allez viens Tu lu tu, tu lu tu... Allez viens Tu lu tu, tu lu tu... I love this song. I think Raphael and I are meant to be together. Maybe I like it too because I remember when I met youssef he always said "allez... allez, viens..." and he had this silly big grin on his face and we were always moving. i thought it was cute - i never heard people in aix say "allez, viens". maybe i like this song bc he's asking questions because he's not sure. i think problems start when we stop asking questions. i remember i got my harvard research job whenever i just started asking questions and she found more more intelligent because of it. but at the same time there's a point where you stop asking and you just go, because i guess you need to trust as well. maybe that's the point where you can no longer wait... and sometimes you start walking faster than others and sometimes you can wait a lifetime for something or someone. je pense qu'on va reprendre la route encore people ask me why i am in france. but now i answer, "pourquoi pas?" because really, why aren't they somewhere else too? life brings and takes you away from places, people, and there are always the same places and people you come back to, whether it's everyday, every year, and there's those who always stay with you, meme si on part. sometimes i think that's why people believe in god, bc they can't believe in others or themselves. but at the same time i always thought the most religious were either the stupidest or the smartest people on earth school is fine, and i return to paris again this next weekend. when i saw youssef and hugged him, i felt his body breathe, but it moved with me. somethings you can't forget | | Thursday, September 15th, 2005 | | 12:58 pm |
au revoir a quoi?
so this weekend will probably either finalize the decision to really start over between youssef and me, from the beginning, or maybe seeing each other would make everything better. i think the problem in the end is that i am starting from scratch and he is surrounded my people he has known for years. he lives with his sister and his cousin is a 20 min walk away. in paris, besides the one friend i made at the end, and the other friend i made who doesn't actually live in paris, the only person i had was youssef. in a way i wish he would live alone again, in a city where he doesn't know anyone, for he can really understand what it is like to be alone again. he seems to dump me off whenever i'm starting a new life, in a new city, where i don't know anyone, and he's too busy with his own life to even wish me good luck on my first day of classes. i think he takes me for granted bc he has his best friends since he was young there while in the US he would spend hours playing spider solitaire or his afternoons in the gym and afterwards he had nothing to do. classes are different than they are in the US... i don't know exactly where i stand in competition with the other students. the only class worth going to i feel is biophysics, which i enjoy a lot also (except today's lesson, which was hard to understand) i just forgot how lonely it is to live in a city where you don't know anyone... | | Tuesday, August 23rd, 2005 | | 3:48 pm |
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